Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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