Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
