The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
