So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
