This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
