dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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