Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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