just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
