Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
a search helicopter?!
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
