Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
