i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Randomize
