He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
