so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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