So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
