he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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