Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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