a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize