So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
