is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
