Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
