On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
