I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Randomize
