The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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