I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
