So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
