i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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