Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
