if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
