he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
