hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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