I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
