I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
