I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
