FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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