Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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