I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
