Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
