I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
