It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
