I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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