Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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