I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
