I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
