How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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