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now i know why i became what i already was.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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