ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
