Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
