i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
