I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
All I want is dick and wine.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
