UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
