I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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