The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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