He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
