Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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