That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
