What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Drake has all the answers
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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