I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
