sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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