so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
