You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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