What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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