he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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