That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
