you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
