Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
