Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
So squirting runs in the family.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
