Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
